LET NOT THE WIFE DEPART

The apostle Paul had received several questions regarding marriage from the saints at Corinth. In I Corinthians seven he answered their questions. In part, he said, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” (1 Cor. 7:10-11.) Note that Paul said, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord.” The authority of this command comes from the highest source: Jesus Christ, who said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder...And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matt. 19:6-9.)

It is argued that it is not wrong to put one’s mate away for a reason other than fornication as long as the one doing the putting away does not remarry. There are preachers, elders and members of the church that hold to this false idea. They need to study 1 Corinthians again. I want to give some reasons why this practice is sinful.

First, to put one’s mate away for a reason other than fornication is in direct opposition to what the Lord commanded. He said, “Let not the wife depart…and let not the husband put her away.” (1 Cor. 7:10-11). When the Lord says plainly do not leave your husband or do not put away your wife and one does what the Lord has prohibited, the individual sins. The only ground for putting away one’s mate is for fornication (Matt.19:9). “Except” means “if and only if.”

Friends, the putting away or divorce is not the legal paper authorized by the courts of our land. An innocent wife may put away her fornicating husband, but not have the money to make the divorce legal. As soon as possible, if possible, she needs to comply with the laws of the land by making it legal (Roms. 13:1-7). It might be the case that the fornicating husband, knowing that his wife will no longer live with him (having put him away), he outruns her to the lawyer and files for divorce. The fact that he made the putting away that she had done legal, does not negate her scriptural right to have put him away.

Some argue, “Well, you can get a legal separation, but not a divorce.” There is about as much difference from a scriptural standpoint between a legal separation and a divorce as there is between tweedledee from tweedledum. If a woman gets a legal separation from her husband she has put him away. If she gets a divorce, she has put him away. It is six of one and half a dozen of the other. It is a difference without a distinction. If a woman gets a legal separation from her husband for a reason other than fornication, she sins. She is subject to discipline. If a woman divorces her husband for a reason other than fornication, she sins. She is subject to discipline.

Second, the wife who departs from her husband, or a husband who puts away his wife for any reason other than fornication, has failed to live up to God’s instructions. Paul instructed Titus that the older women were to teach the younger women to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). How much does a wife love her husband, if she departs from him? A husband is to love his wife (Eph. 5:25, 28-29). How much does he love her, if he is putting her away? Either scenario is a failure to love one’s mate as the Bible commands.

Third, a wife who departs from her husband is not in submission to him (Eph. 5:22). She is not obedient to him (Gen. 3:16; Titus 2:5). When she exchanged her marriage vows she promised to love, honor and obey. Regardless of whether those words are in the marriage vows, the wife is still obligated to love (Titus 2:4), honor (Eph. 5:33) and obey (Titus 2:5; Eph. 5:22) her husband until death separates them. Likewise, if a husband puts away his wife for a reason other than fornication, he has failed to love (Eph. 5:25), honor (1 Peter 3:7) and cherish (Eph. 5:28-29) his wife as the Bible teaches.

Fourth, one of the purposes of marriage is to avoid fornication by every man having his own wife and every woman, her own husband (1 Cor. 7: 1-2). Marriage is honorable and sexual relations within marriage is not wrong (Heb. 13:4). Paul instructs husbands and wives to practice the golden rule regarding sexual relations within marriage (1 Cor. 7:3-4).

Then Paul commands, “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1 Cor. 7:5.) “Defraud” means to rob. Husbands and wives are not to withhold themselves from each other. The exception to their coming together sexually is, if it be “with consent for a time.” The consent is mutual, i.e., both husband and wife agree to refrain from sexual relations in order that they may give themselves to fasting and prayer. The fasting here is not as some have suggested, a refraining from sexual relations. The couple does not agree to refrain from sexual relations in order to refrain from sexual relations. “Fasting and prayer” means exactly what is says. It involves a time of emphasis upon the spiritual.

After this period of time of emphasizing the spiritual, the couple is to come together again sexually in order that “Satan tempt” them not for their “incontinency” or your lack of self-control. But if a husband puts away his wife not for fornication, he places her in a vulnerable position, and may cause her to commit adultery (Matt. 5:32). Likewise, if a wife leaves her husband she places him in a dangerous situation. He may yield to Satan’s temptations and commit adultery. His yielding to sin does not justify him. He stands condemned for his own actions (2 Cor. 5:10; Gal. 5:19-21), but she does not escape culpability for putting him into the vulnerable situation.

No congregation should provide a safe harbor for those who defiantly oppose the teachings of God’s word on this subject or any other. Let us strive to keep the church pure.